Here we go again, another death trip.
It must be a phase, a thing that happens when I see a mirror: who IS that guy, and where did he come from? Someone has kidnapped me and imprisoned me in the body of some old staggering dude. This is manifestly unfair and I did not order it up. And yet the hunger is still there, the yearning for the edge where things still happen.
An artist never quits. What’s the fun of that? I’ve always been an artist. I was an artist when I first squirted out, which must have scared my parents half to death. I know I scared them later on, when they tried to beat the artist out of me with baseball, Boy Scouts, and a paper route. Being smart and educable, I soon learned how to do this on my own and made a long and terrible career of it, but the artist never went away for good. When I got to the point of actually quitting my job to be a rock & roll songwriter, of all things, back in the ’80s — kinda makes me smile — well, that was it! I never went back. That wasn’t quite enough, but I painted and sculpted and welded and poured bronze and played music and — yes, my wife supported us — the years went by in a colorful and rich (if unremunerative) parade.
NOW, of course, I think I’m finally serious enough to do the nuts and bolts. Heh. I really need to. It’s like a stake that’s wanting pounding in. But even then, it’s ultimately madness. This never ends. It wouldn’t end if I’d already made my billions and we were spending April on my island. There’s no way to cross the finish line, because there isn’t one. No matter what, I’m gonna die a work in progress or collapse (or collapse) — in motion then, at least, from which I draw some early satisfaction.
No one can fly, but we get to jump off the cliff and flap our arms all the way down. At first glance, this seems cruel and barbaric: for chips off the old godhead, how can this be? I don’t know. I really don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve been falling for decades and only just opened my eyes:
OMYGODFLAPLIKEAMOTHERFUCKERFLAPFLAPFLAP!!!
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Positively Brilliant! “If you don’t know where you’re going… you might not get there”! And, therein lays our greatest adventure!
Keep Flappin Argonaut… Keep Flappin!!!!