My youngest sister and her son visited recently from Tucson. It was a significant trip on several levels.
I was quite worried about how we’d all do in this small space, but everything worked out fine. The first evening, as I was carrying out a bag of garbage in the dark — yes, I was, on a dark and moonless night — I stumbled on a rock and fell down hard in the steeply sloping driveway, gouging a scary deep cut in the palm of my left hand. Happily, my sister is a nurse and had the necessary first aid goodies with her to patch me up. She also did an excellent job of reassuring me that there was “nothing to stitch up” and that I only had to grin and bear it. I wasn’t grinning when she poured alcohol over the wound, but it must have done the trick.
A stalwart trio at 10,000 feet
This episode had an extraordinary effect on me. I was shocked by the accidental slashing and demonstrated vulnerability. It gave me a solid hard scare. But then the nurturing delivered through my sibling connected somehow with the archetypal “good mother” energy I’d been sorely lacking or separated from for quite some time. (How long doesn’t matter, but you could almost grow a redwood tree.) The point is that I felt much calmer, open, and more honest toward my wife and other females afterwards. This can only be a good thing and helps make up for occasionally being a nasty jerk. Oh, yeah.
It was especially gratifying to see my nephew for the first time as a nearly-grown young man. We didn’t talk much (I don’t remember ever actually talking to my uncles), but I felt a depth and presence in him that’s sorely lacking in this world. Exactly what we need, by God.
No related posts.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
The great thing about family isn’t “family values” but “family acceptance”. As the poet said, it’s where you go when you need a place, and they have to take you in, whether they want to or not. Whatever river has gone under the bridge. You don’t choose the members of your family – they just are. They’re the irreplaceable given of your life, the only life you’ve got, the only people you came from. So much of life is a matter of striving and self-definition and groping in the dark for some shred of illumination – all laudable and worthy and human. But we need a refuge from all that. Family is it. It’s just a deeply buried monolithic thing you didn’t do anything to deserve and may want to escape and can’t do anything to change. When the chips are down, it’s really all you’ve got. You can call that “values” if you like, but that aint the half of it.
Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but then I didn’t! And I do think you’re ignoring families who eat their young. That’s what makes this story so important.