Oh God. Seems like it’s only been warm for a little while, and now we’re looking at September. I’m not ready to start building fires. And how come I haven’t hiked every week like I said I would this summer? I haven’t ridden my mountain bike once, either. Egad.
We took a drive this evening and had a picnic where I took the picture below. It’s always hard to believe that just 30 minutes over the mountain, there’s a whole different world. It was cooler up there, another harbinger. But I didn’t see a single fly! Just one gnat. Now that’s how picnics are supposed to be. But Jesus, August 19th already?! It isn’t fair. It’s just not right. I’ll have to come up with a way to visit the Southern Hemisphere.
On the way to Mora County
So much seems undone this summer. My honey still doesn’t have a studio for her baby grand. I haven’t found us a bigger hacienda yet. The car is gonna die. My two new crowns are going to eat up the first four months of brand-new Social Security payments. (Me? Social Security??) I haven’t “walked myself thin,” my grand plan that’s over a year old. Here I am still building a career while the air hisses out of my balloon. I haven’t produced those podcasts yet! Whatever am I waiting for?! And where’s the new writing?
These are things that go through my mind when I stand in the doorway in my shorts and realize I need long pants (brr). And then, if I’m really, really lucky, I remember to focus on my breath. The air comes in, the air goes out.
Never mind the thoughts, just breathe.
Aging, self-recrimination, all is nothing. Bah! Take off the monkey suit and be a man. In and out, just breathe.
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