Well, that was a short fall.
Fourteen degrees all of sudden is quite a shock. I’ve been burning wood all day. Most of the trees still have their leaves on them, but not for long. Fourteen degrees, my God. I never even checked the radiator fluid. Did cut the water off to the outside spigot. All potted plants outside now dead, presumably. We’re just not sweating it at the moment. There’s too much going on, and staying loose is more important.
Woke up to sun on frozen ground and Cheney’s snarling face online. More squealing from the war pigs, Iran’s gonna kill us all. Iran?? You’re gonna kill us all. Snarling, smirking faces of the goons. Heil Hitler, man, totally unhinged, put me in a staggering funk. Soon I’m hitting half a dozen blogs. I follow links, it gets much worse. I feel myself get numb all over but can’t stop cycling through the sites, looking now for smoking guns, silver bullets, lightning bolts, crucifixes & garlic. Josh doesn’t update for a whole hour and I get mad: how dare they, don’t they know it’s all going to hell?
I can’t concentrate on my work. Can’t start on my work. I keep jumping back onto the Internet, looking for word that the administration has been arrested and shipped off to the Hague. Guess what, it isn’t there. Now I’m focusing on things I don’t want, not good! Bombs. Death. Police state. No gas for the car. Millions dead. Currency worthless. No food. Cold. Getting more numb all the time, why struggle. I sit in a comfortable chair and let myself doze off. Not happy, mind you, just not fighting it or piling on. They’re going to kill us all, so be it. Get it over with and cleanse the planet, only — only I’m still HERE, dammit. I don’t want a freaking war, I voted for peace.
Nature will take its course. We will either own up, become aware, and change — by accident or grace — or else be waterboarded in blood until we confess.
I sleep a little, rest a lot. The sun goes down, and I’m still in the chair. For over an hour, I’m in the chair, with the warm swamp water up to my neck. When I do stand up, I’m better, not so numb. I’m thinking about goosebumps and joy and that lump in the throat you get when the good guys finally show up. That has to come from somewhere, right?
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