This is what I could never get close to back East.
There was always a boundary, either the inevitable highway or some rich dude’s pier and sailboat in the way. Highway sounds, airplane sounds. The clickety-clack of nearby civilization in my head, even if not in my ears. Oh, there are some incredible places, though, but you have to know where to look. Even then, if you got lost, they’d probably know where to find you. And even in some of the most beautiful wild corners of the Eastern Shore of Maryland, I could never quite get over an underlying feeling of dread, knowing what was just over the bay or down the shore. I never felt the pure, undifferentiated rush I get here.
Ute Mountain scene near Costilla, NM
Part of it’s the danger, substituting getting lost forever for things like poison ivy. There really isn’t anything to compare in that regard, it’s just an utterly different environment. You could have your car die on a back road and freeze to death, for example. It wouldn’t be hard at all, especially in northern Taos County where these pictures were taken.
I took off around noon and headed for Questa. For some reason I stopped at the Chevron mini-mart and bought a glazed artificially-flavored cherry pie (what we in Texas used to call “fried pies”) instead of visiting the La Paloma espresso bar and bakery for a latte and a lemon bar. I probably wanted the anonymity, as things can get a little chatty there. As it was, I only intended to eat a bite or two of it and then righteously throw the rest away. No, really. But when I got to where the bright red filling was, I committed, and quickly devoured the whole thing in an artificial flavor sugar frenzy. I’d do it again, too. This probably doesn’t sound very dangerous, but you never know.
Hold me in your everlasting arms
Hunger sated, I drove further north, all the way to Colorado. (That’s the Mount Blanca massif in southern CO seen from the NM state line in the header image.) My pulse must have been racing the entire time. It was so stunningly wild and clean, especially a few miles off the main highway like I went in Costilla to get the shot directly above. What happens to me in those places is hard to describe, and I’m not sure I should. In short, I connect with something immensely powerful that I can’t name, and any words I used would never do it justice. But we humans are hard-wired for the experience, I swear we are. It feels like cool, clear water to a dessicated soul.
The last shot in this mini-series is possibly one of the Latir Peaks. There are bighorn sheep up there, and elk and bear. What you’re looking at is definitely a designated wilderness area that starts somewhere close to where the land begins to rise. The feeling that comes off those mountainsides can make you cry for joy or shit your pants. Sometimes I spontaneously sing.
First you’re scared and then you’re happy, or is it the other way around?
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Bravo, my friend. The authentic Farr (to this reader anyhow) usually speaks from the wilderness and expresses self-doubt along with those ecstatic meditations on dolce far niente. The fried pie was a particularly good touch in this context. Made me slobber and salivate something unholy. Felt like stealing a look at a girly calendar in church (which I did once on a dare).
Thank you for capturing a real sensation so accurately. I know what you mean. When we lived in the Midwest and New England, there were occasionally remote places where you needed to exercise caution, but I never felt anything like that ecstatic dread you cite until we moved west. There’s just something so huge and so open and so forbidding that it takes your breath away … and can make you sing, as you so aptly put it. It’s as if the lack of visual boundaries lifts you from your physical boundaries and sets your spirit soaring. Sitting here in the comfort of my urban Oregon home on a Sunday morning it’s easy to forget those feelings, so again I thank you, John, for reminding me. Great photos!
“Ecstatic dread…”
That absolutely captures it. I KNEW you had to be a writer, so I googled.
Salutations and congrats.
As for photos, be sure to visit FotoFeed this coming week. There will be some absolutely killer shots.
A little further north…Take a left. Been there? The Great Sand Dunes…GOTTA check ‘em out. We visited a few months back, after riding the C&T RR…More of just what you’re looking for.
PS…I’m headed back down to Taos next week for a few days… Wanna “do” breakfast? It’s a long time over-due.
I’ve gotta have some green chile hash…It just doesn’t exist here.