Prayer

by JHF on May 24, 2008 · 4 comments

in Personal

I love that woman so much…

It’s ever been quite like this before. But why is it happening now? It isn’t fair I had to wait almost 30 years for my shields to drop. Why did I have to become a stupid freaking white-haired relic before I let go the fear? What a travesty, and what an impossible gift. I’ll never live long enough for my body to catch up with my heart. It’s like inheriting everything on my death bed.

She plays the piano, you know. She doesn’t touch the keys, she caresses them and makes love to the piano. Music has always been her greatest passion, and for the last couple of years, she’s had more and more pain in her hands. She’s doing everything from acupuncture to herbal medicine to Iboprufen and massage. Sometimes that seems to work, but today I saw her pick up a glass of water and cry out. I know she’s afraid that some day in the future, she won’t be able to play. When it hurts real bad, I hold her hands in both of mine and try to be as present as I can be, to focus on the energy between us.

Why can’t I be a healer?

Why can’t I do that for her?

Maybe I can, and it just hasn’t happened yet. Or maybe there’s something she has to do for herself, an inner struggle she has to go through, a journey she has to complete. I don’t know. I don’t know anything, except I don’t want her to hurt. My hearing is going, my hair is falling out, I know my ticket has been punched. ISN’T THAT ENOUGH? What do I have to do to pay the bill for both of us, lose a goddamn kidney??

Related posts:

  1. Monday Evening Prayer
  2. Unutterable Spirit

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Byron May 25, 2008 at 7:09 am

John, you ARE already a healer and perhaps you don’t realize it yet. 15 years ago I found satisfaction and a degree of healing ability for myself and others through a metaphysical teaching called the Science of Mind. It is not hocus pocus or astrology or about tarot cards, beads or pyramids. No snake handling is involved LOL. It isn’t New Age or a quasi Christianity. In fact, it’s light years away from the guilt, shame, fear, ignorance and whoppers I endured for 50+ years in Xtian fundamentalism.
If you’re at all interested you might want to visit the library and checkout the textbook entitled The Science of Mind. The author is Ernest Holmes; he was also the founder of the teaching.

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2 dar May 26, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Ok,this is for Mrs.John:
Twenty ytars ago,i used to be a mechanic,when rheumatoid arthritis hit,an 84yr old customer told me:DIET is theCure,certainly not drugs wch destroy the liver&kidneys,[as no doubt AltMed healers have told You].
No meat ,Dairy;potatoes,peppers,tomatoes[these are of the solanine family],coffee,sugar,aspartame/splenda diet/calorie-free poisons.
All these cause the ph of the blood to be acidic&the kidneys&liver filtration are overwhelmed&the joints become inflamed[in our case].
Brown rice& veggies [no spinach/swiss chard]&fruits
i was more scared than sceptical&so i did as advised. It worked: no pain or joint deformation! Of course the RA specialists decreed diet didn’t matter.
if you put contaminated fuel in the petrol tank,the engine will miss. All the treatment in the world won’t help,unless we dump dairy [www.notmilk.com]etc&eat rice&veg
As well,homeopathic arnica,Bach Rescue Remedy,lots of vitc’,kelp,malic acid,magnesium chloride,glucosamine sulphate,msm,tumeric,b-complex,evening primrose oil, *virgin coconut oil [internally&topically-amazing pain reducer-]* NO Calcium as this increases inflammation,
epsom salt baths&compresses.
What have You got to lose?

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3 John H. Farr May 26, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Thank you for this. I’ve passed it on to her.

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4 John H. Farr May 27, 2008 at 7:45 am

Note: I’ve deleted two comments (and one of my replies) previously in this thread. I frequently delete my own reactions to this or that upon reflection, and very rarely — but occasionally — remove a reader’s also for reasons of kindness and mental health. Comments are still open, however, so continue if you wish!

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