Year of Magic

It all started with a concert performance of Janáček’s Sonata for Piano and Violin. Hoo, boy.

My wife had been practicing for months and rehearsing all week. The key to what turned out to be a magnificent success this past weekend turned out to be her talent, focus, incredibly hard work, and, in her own words, “magic…” The word has come up a lot since then, and today she declared 2010 was our “year of magic.” Wow: thirty years with the same woman, and she can look me in the eye and speak of magic! I should be taken out and beaten with rusty tire chains if that doesn’t stir my soul. Which fortunately it does.

(This is pretty much where I am anyway, at the moment: magic! I could tell you what that means to me, but then there’d be a fence around it. It has to do with directly plugging in desire, however, and that will have to do for now.)

Believe it or not, after over 40 years of turning to the editorial page first thing, my addiction to political news has brought me indirectly to this. I see it as a burlesque now, the collective behavior of the possessed. All that effort expended electing Democrats last year, and what do we get? Corruption and incompetence laid out on the table for all to see, this time from the so-called good guys!( Every last one of them, too.) This means that nothing will ever really be done about our most pressing problems, no matter who’s elected. Yes, I know some folks have been saying so for years, but this lover of heroes always wanted them to be wrong. Accepting that they’re not is helping me get unstuck and gain control of my affairs.

The powers that be will never try anything new that doesn’t increase their personal wealth. They have no compassion for your plight. Logic doesn’t faze them, either. Raise a ruckus about greenhouse gases and watch the Obama administration build nuclear power plants instead of going solar, for instance. (You know they will.) Ask for health care and get feudalism. Vote for peace and get more war. Any attempt to “fix” things within the current structure only makes them worse. None of this will ever end until it ends, and I’ve written plenty about that.

So I say to myself, why the hell would I make anything BUT magic now?!?

I’m as serious as I can be.

I don’t know how the economy will fare, but this year I will pay off all my debts and be light on my feet. Maybe volcanic ash will blot out the sun or the continents shift. I don’t care. There is no useful strategy except simplifying life and MAGIC. In the way I feel about it, this would constitute something like the sacred activism of Andrew Harvey. Big Picture energy. Intention and the quantum soup. Experiencing wholeness as a revolutionary act.

After all, my wife and I did everything “wrong” by blowing up our old lives and moving to Taos the way we did. The fucking mountain called me or something, who knows. WE JUST UP AND DID IT, but we survived. Ten years later, here we are. We don’t have much except each other and a cleaner experience of “be here now,” but what else is there really except for trappings? (Some of those are awfully cool, don’t get me wrong, but that should be a feature, not a bug.)

Tonight she walked up to me and said, “I feel good. I’m happy!”

How can I not believe? How can I not move on?

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