See that image? There’s your life on new age Taos woo-woo baby-pucky horseshit. It can hit you almost anywhere, but here it’s often fatal. At the very least, you’ll get divorced and run back to where there’s actual pavement and people think that how they live is sturdy and secure.
Not that anything like the above has ever had a thing to do with my life, of course! I could tell you that I saw the ghost of an eight-foot tall Apache shaman on my front porch in Maryland, back when all I had to worry about were termites and changing soggy T-shirts three times a day, but you might get the wrong impression. And yes, I did, although you’ll note I couldn’t afford to run away and never got divorced, knock on wood.
I suppose I could always rob a gas station–they ought to have lots of cash on hand these days, no? Or maybe I could make a fortune selling ’87 Ford truck taillight assemblies on eBay, but who would ever want one of those?? No, El Senor has bigger plans, for me, I think. He wants me to DISSOLVE THE BOUNDARY BETWEEN WHAT I WANT AND WHAT THERE IS, the dirty karma-swilling Bastard. No doubt one can take that either way, but probably it’s both, and a helluva lot better than never trying at all.
Not Trying at All being the rallying (?) cry of western civilization these days, no wonder I persist in phasing back and forth between my own condition and the state of our messed-up world. Waking up this morning to another heavy snowfall was the log that broke the idiot’s back: after all that mud had finally begun to dry a teeny little bit, KA-BOOM we get another shot of misery catalyst! (They’re cheering in the ski valley, though.)
[rumble, rumble...]
“I CAN’T TAKE IT! I’m cracking up!” I said, beginning to show the signs, but more angry than unnerved. “It’s never been this bad. I’ve tried for three years now to get us into a better place, and nothing seems to work. I just don’t know what to do.”
[sputter, snivel]
“We have to LIVE IN THE NOW!” she shouted back, stamping her foot. (You’d better pay attention when she does that.) “Guilt is STUPID! Regret is STUPID! We need to be happy RIGHT NOW!”
She went on in this vein for quite a time, and it was worth the wait. God, I guess I really love a crisis. I know exactly what she means, however: that’s the whole point of this ridiculous exercise. We’re both grownups with incredible experience and accomplishments between us. At this stage, we ought to be Masters of the Universe, not feeling like a couple of refugees bounced out of the back of a truck. The funny thing is, in many ways, I’ve never felt so good-crazy, spiritually strong, and full of fire. I’m even mostly happy, pretty rare in my experience. I’m attracting great roaring weirdness to my sphere. Here I am almost dead, and the world is actually opening up before my eyes.
I call that explosive and the true spirit of this place, so BAH! and HAH! and never mind. It’s time to drive off in the snow for “Sunday Sonic,”* anyway.
(You all have a great time, now, and turn off that teevee!)
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
the very last advice is the key, and you shoud have put it in all caps with way more exclamation points, to wit:
TURN OFF THAT TEEVEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as i put it in a previous post, it’s time to unplug from The Matrix; the Collective Complacent Consensus Reality that keeps us all shacked to our Culture Of Not Trying At All, as you put it so well. it’s worse than heroin or crack for sucking all the soul and energy right out of you.
just right after this one more episode of Law & Order……
*cough*
Well, it’s easy for me to say, because I don’t even HAVE teevee.
I probably will again someday, but I honestly don’t miss it. There’s always too much to read or do, and I have trouble slowing down enough to watch a whole YouTube video now.