Once again, I’ve deleted several posts. Blame it on my inner struggle, and I apologize for vanishing your lengthy, well-considered comments. (Maybe you should have your own blogs, too?)
This site is my face to the world, so be it. But when I’m not doing what I ought to be doing, I fill up space here with other items that strive too hard to make a point. Besides resulting in bad art, this inevitably leads to arguments I never intended to make, and soon I’m in the position of telling people who feel fine why they should be miserable. What a losing proposition!
As many of you know, I stopped reading most political blogs for just that reason. Not that I feel fine, but 95% of the ones I’d been following think the problem is the other side, and I’d like both parties to go to flaming hell. No one speaks for me, anway, and I’d rather take care of myself than wail at idiots. I NEED to do this. If that works, I can lead by example. If it doesn’t, I can blame everyone else like most of us do.
For the record, I’ve never been emotionally invested in the “system.” A good thing, now that it’s breaking down, but I’ve felt that way since I was 12 years old (the station wagons in the driveways, the perfect lawns, the daddies going off to work) and wanted no damn part of it. My entire life has been a tug-of-war between denying my gut instincts while trying to adapt and having the courage to go my own way. The only encouragement I ever got, whether from my family or society—excepting rock and roll!—was directed at compelling me to fit in, not what we eternal boys are prepped to hear, oh no. Ironically, even when I did the “right thing,” like play it safe in ’68 and score a master’s and a teaching job, the reaction from my parents was weak and hollow, as if they knew deep down inside that something had just died for me, and that they had helped to kill it.
Don’t get me wrong, though. No one is trapped by age or circumstance, only ignorance and habit. This shit stops with me, eventually (marked by when I finally stop whining). And now, more art!
It’s what this life is for.
Related posts:
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
A very brave and bold post, my friend, and characteristic of you in its honesty. We need more art, more originality, more argument. The only answer to dreariness and stultification is life and more life. Tell it!
RIGHT ON!! (Both of you!)
You and Michael Shrieve….yep the famous Santana drummer of the Woodstock SOLO Fame….Must be on the same page or wave length…..he posted today on FB….(I know – I know -BUT)……See -
Michael Shrieve
Good morning everyone, and thanks so much for coming today. Today I am concerned, seriously concerned, about the state of our beautiful country. We are moving quicky, and have been for sometime into very dangerous financial territory, and the politicians, bankers, Wall Street have designed it this way. Keep the Faith, but please walk with your eyes wide open. Spread comfort and love.
SOUNDS ALMOST LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD SAY JOHN!